then i got used to it.
not being afraid.
i do like the difference.
I don’t know what “Bloggers” do, I know what I do, and I do it for my reasons — others have their ideas as to what those are, yet those people do not know me.
I use blogs to organize thoughts, ideas, pieces of me that are just a part of me, and since I have always “blogged” and used the internet and most of its incarnations for doing just that, this is just what I do. I sometimes just create a blog and write out an idea, sometimes getting back to it eventually, and sometimes leaving it for others may stumble along it and do the idea up righteously. Good luck following along.
So, I “closed” my NSFW NikIVTumblingAroundTumblr blog (stopping at 666 pages seemed right for this project), and I will now spend the next couple of months augmenting and editing it to be in its final form. I grew quite fond of my first “porn” blog site, with a mix in my feed that was always pushing all my favorite buttons, art, science, tech, space, peace, activism, sexy.
When Tumblr first came on the scene, i was like WHOA!!!! I signed up right away with an even more NSFW concept yet I found that I wasn’t ready to go down that path yet and that project still waits for me. When my teenage daughter said she was on Tumblr (FanDom Central!), I knew I had to jump into the mix somehow. I created NikiVTumblingAround and several other “interest” blogs on Tumblr, curated and found a feed with a happy medium to form a porn site I actually think I would enjoy randomly finding on the internet. That I curated a porn site would shock most of the people I actually know in real life, well, now that I think about it, maybe not anymore.
I have used my experience with this blog to inform my activism off-line as well as develop several other concepts relating to my perpetual online activism. My NSFW “URDaughtersFirstPortSite” is a blog that I’m developing an off-line component to introduce to my local community as more young men and ladies get into the naked selfie / sex video normalcy of this new reality. We already had one issue in our small community of this “tumblrworld mindset” where a cos-play online game brought in a young lady who got caught up way over her head, parents had no idea any of this world even existed, let alone that their daughter was involved.
Coming out of NikiVTumbingAround directly, are two blogs: (1) a password protected, Cocktale Hour, which will be even more intimate writings based on images that i enjoy, so a bit more comprehensive than my NSFW URpleasURe blog here on WordPress; and (2) Curing Cosmic Boredom, a considerably less racy than NikiVTumblingAround with a very specific intent of “looking 4 love on tumblr dot com.” While there are many parts of porn on the internet I just cannot support on General Principle, I find that most people engage in those realities as a form of stimulation because nothing in their lives are giving any real meaning, boredom basically. I think that’s why I include that reality now, unashamed and “part of the problem” to bring about a solution to the underlying causes.
Ok, I think I got all that straight, my NSFW blogospheric reality nutshell. And no, i’m not a cam girl. And no, I do not have a KIK account. And, no, i don’t blog for money (as strange as that may seem these days). And, no, unless you are my cosmic consort, you may not text me.
i think about blogs i want to create just to share an idea of a moment that i would never really take the actual time to make it a truthality in my lifetime.
The problem with everything being about you, is that, ultimately, you are the only decider.
And to create anything, you have to make all kinds of decisions at every moment in time. So, I do, make decisions and say whatever is in my mind wherever I am, for better or worse, and I try to learn from what I say, especially from my mistakes, because I really don’t know much about this place and I’m wrong most of the time it seems. In reviewing that which is already on the record that has transpired in my life, I find others think I’m wrong all the time.
I’m in the process of deciding if I should go Super Artist Activist and put a blue strip across my bangs and cut my hair short again, or if I should just stay simple Super Mom and blah blah blah. One most certainly does not want to be wrong about a hair color choice that just should not be done! I know its my choice and I just really am tired of making decisions like that. THAT is when a partner comes in handy, and well, I don’t have that anymore.
My choice. The condition of my condition of not having that partner in my everyday life. “My way,” I know I chose it, blah blah blah. Yet, the finding a replacement is taking too long, imho.
Still, i miss having a partner like that, that’s ok, right?!
Everything I do, I do just because.
because i am in the space and time and vibration that i happen to be and that is what there is to do in that space.
because i haven’t found a solution on the internet. that’s why i think i’m the smartest person in the room at places like the California Coastal Commission — where i KNOW i’m NOT the smartest person in the room, I’m just the smartest HUMAN in the room speaking about reality that exists which no one cares to speak about. I am the elephant namer. I describe the elephant and what needs to happen to get it out of the room: namely, I’m not the smartest person in the room.
as soon as I usually say what needs to happen to the elephant, that’s when the REALLY SMART people take over and, take the problem to a breakout session for an intervention or intensive session or something. right?!
LOST. So, more than once this past week i was adjusted in ways i should never be treated in a relationship. Not that they can’t be trained. Baseball works. 3 strikes.
So, this is what I’m thinking about, and the truth is, sometimes you can use the key and sometimes the door is already open and you just need to walk in already.
So don’t u know I’m fuqin listening up, always and in all ways beyond what they deserve, and then it becomes indulgence, then, if you are not the disciplined one, there is the over indulgence. Listening to excusing of personal bad behavior through “civil dialogue” if you know what i mean. that isn’t real, of course, that kind of dialogue. its just what we do to make the problem go away.
truth is that its not just this era, even from the grave they have THEIR issues programmed into OUR reality, yet the cycle could end if we chose that outcome. The multi-generational dialogues must be had, explored and freely given with a reality that empowers the truths we all know to be true. Listen carefully with your soul when it is most alive, when it may soar into a new realm of reality. The soul may be startled or frustrated or even scared, yet the soul’s signature habits will be consistent to its unique vibration. Remember the soul’s earth journey just may be this infinite soul’s continuum.